Transcript
[0:02] So, um, [clears throat]
[0:04] I don't usually like to talk so much at
[0:06] night while we're here. So, since
[0:08] everybody's yapping all day, so
[0:11] we're just taking this time to squeeze
[0:14] all the talking in for me.
[0:18] What we'll do is we'll take questions
[0:20] and we'll talk we'll discuss among
[0:23] ourselves.
[0:29] So,
[0:33] it's usually the bmachis in the back
[0:34] that are making noise.
[0:38] [clears throat]
[0:40] Betum
[0:42] bet.
[0:47] [laughter]
[0:49] Oh, it's great to have K here, you know.
[0:59] Romesh was telling you the story this
[1:00] morning about
[1:03] how we came to Maharaji, how we actually
[1:05] met him and what he didn't mention is
[1:08] that KK didn't tell us that story till
[1:12] about four or five years later.
[1:16] So luckily
[1:19] he didn't tell us what really happened
[1:20] that day, you know. And should I refresh
[1:24] you or do you already you understand?
[1:29] >> Are you alive actually? I mean and and
[1:33] cognizant.
[1:34] >> Yes. Okay.
[1:36] Just checking since there are bodies in
[1:38] the room.
[1:41] >> I'm starting. Where's the lasagna?
[1:47] Okay.
[1:53] You know, I think more than anything
[1:54] what we uh th those of us who met
[1:58] Maharaji in the body and or not who
[2:02] consider ourselves to be his devotees, I
[2:04] think what we share is
[2:08] uh more than anything the way we see our
[2:11] lives,
[2:13] you know,
[2:16] uh the way we see
[2:19] our day how we see ourselves in the in
[2:22] relation to
[2:24] uh all the stuff that happens to us in a
[2:27] life
[2:29] raas once said you know I think more
[2:31] than anything what we share with people
[2:33] is our faith in Maharaji
[2:36] and that faith is based on experience
[2:38] it's not blind faith
[2:41] nothing
[2:42] blind faith is useless you know and and
[2:45] destructive and dangerous
[2:50] But faith or confidence is what comes
[2:53] from actually having the experiences
[2:56] yourselves of of of the truth of the
[2:58] thing in your own life in your daily
[3:01] life.
[3:04] You know, I joke around a lot that uh
[3:07] that I mope around less now and that I
[3:10] miss it.
[3:12] And it's true. Both things are true.
[3:15] Sometimes I mope around just for fun,
[3:17] you know?
[3:19] I just walk around the house and go,
[3:21] "Oh, This is
[3:26] cuz it feels so natural to me.
[3:30] It's everybody has this unique natural
[3:32] state."
[3:35] [clears throat]
[3:36] But really,
[3:38] you know, from the chanting, I've been
[3:39] chanting a long time and it seems I
[3:42] still consider myself a beginner.
[3:46] really I do. I mean
[3:48] uh
[3:53] but I I I I've seen the way that
[3:56] chanting has
[4:00] remained the same
[4:02] while my life has changed all around it.
[4:11] Um,
[4:17] I don't know quite how to explain that
[4:18] other than to say that
[4:21] all those
[4:23] long periods of being in heavy negative
[4:26] states of mind, they just don't seem to
[4:29] arise as much or as often as they used
[4:32] to. And when they do, they don't seem to
[4:33] last as long.
[4:35] That's a big thing [clears throat]
[4:37] because when you're sitting in one of
[4:39] those moods or one of those
[4:42] states, you can't do anything with it,
[4:44] you know? It's like you can't
[4:47] you can't move it. You can't you can
[4:49] breathe,
[4:51] you know, and it doesn't go anywhere,
[4:53] you know. You can chant all day and
[4:56] nothing happens, you know.
[5:00] >> It's what we do at the other moments
[5:03] when we have a vote.
[5:05] that affects those moments when we don't
[5:08] seem to have much of a vote,
[5:11] which for a lot of us is a lot of the
[5:13] time.
[5:15] How do we get a vote?
[5:18] How do we get a vote on how we go
[5:20] through the day, right?
[5:25] We wake up in the morning
[5:28] and we start
[5:30] writing,
[5:32] directing, producing, and acting in the
[5:36] movie of me
[5:38] all day long.
[5:41] What am I doing now? When am I going to
[5:43] do they like me? They won't like me. I
[5:44] won't like this. I'll wear this. I won't
[5:45] wear this. I'll do this. Well, if I do
[5:47] this, will that happen?
[5:50] It never stops. It never stops. I don't
[5:53] know if you've noticed that.
[5:57] I'm just going to turn my phone off.
[6:02] Oh, senior moment. I already did.
[6:07] So, um,
[6:12] what when we chant, we're
[6:15] we're chanting what they call the names
[6:17] of God in India, right? I don't know
[6:20] about you,
[6:22] that doesn't really fly with me. I don't
[6:26] know what God is. I don't even know if
[6:27] there really is a God, a God up there in
[6:31] the sky running the show.
[6:35] I know there's love and I know there's
[6:37] love because of Maharaji.
[6:41] That's the only thing I know.
[6:50] Because I know that it changes
[6:54] the way I go through my day. It changes
[6:56] the way I think about myself and think
[6:57] about others
[7:06] because
[7:08] I remember what it was like before. I
[7:10] didn't know that. And by the way,
[7:13] the moment I knew that was the very
[7:16] first moment that I met Ramdas
[7:19] in America. I didn't hadn't been to
[7:21] India yet. I didn't know about Nim
[7:23] Kuroli Baba.
[7:25] But I heard there was this guy who just
[7:27] came back from India. And so I went to
[7:30] see him. And the moment I walked into
[7:32] the room where he was, without a word
[7:35] being spoken, I knew
[7:38] not a word was spoken. And I knew that
[7:41] whatever it is I was looking for
[7:44] was real.
[7:48] Now, this is back in the, you know, the
[7:51] 1700s. You know,
[7:54] there wasn't a yoga studio on every
[7:56] corner and there wasn't books on this
[7:58] all day long. There was like two
[8:00] books, three books I had read. One was
[8:02] autobiography of a yogi, Gospel of
[8:05] Ramach Krishna and I think Zen and
[8:07] Japanese culture. And that was it.
[8:14] And you know, they were nice books,
[8:17] but they were books and I wasn't, you
[8:20] know, they seemed cool, but I didn't
[8:24] I liked it a lot. Uh, but I didn't you
[8:27] didn't I didn't know in my heart if it
[8:30] was real. And when I walked into the
[8:32] room with Ramdas, I knew that
[8:34] immediately. Something just the light
[8:36] went on. Oh, it's real. And then this
[8:40] next thought was, it's in the world. It
[8:43] can be found.
[8:51] So that's that was it. That's that's
[8:54] faith. That was my experience. And from
[8:57] that experience, I got
[9:00] faith.
[9:08] And it's it's faith or understanding,
[9:10] real understanding that allows us to
[9:13] make a deal with us ourselves to do the
[9:17] practices that we need to do to train
[9:19] ourselves
[9:21] to
[9:24] let ourselves be free of the stuff that
[9:26] rules us.
[9:30] We don't get much vote about what
[9:31] thoughts pass through our consciousness.
[9:36] The only vote we get is that moment when
[9:39] we become aware that something's got us.
[9:47] And at that moment, depending on
[9:51] a lot of different factors, we can
[9:53] choose to let go of that for just for a
[9:56] second. I mean, usually these things
[9:57] come back. They're not a big depression.
[10:00] You just don't say, "Go on, get out of
[10:01] here." And it laughs at you.
[10:05] But if we've done practice, if we're
[10:07] accustomed to letting go,
[10:11] those things float through and they
[10:13] don't grab us the same way. In fact, the
[10:16] very first time I experienced this
[10:18] directly was in Kenchi.
[10:21] Um,
[10:22] Maharaji had uh, one one of the Indian
[10:25] Kanan walls had uh, kind of come on to
[10:28] one of the western women in the satsang
[10:30] and Maharaji found out about it. And so
[10:33] all 20 of these guys were loaded on a
[10:36] back of a truck with all their stuff
[10:37] driven down to the train and sent back
[10:39] home to Bindalan.
[10:41] And one of the Indian people said,
[10:43] "Baba, you just kicked out the kanas.
[10:45] Who's going to sing now?"
[10:48] Guess.
[10:49] So all day long we had to sit there, you
[10:52] know,
[10:53] it was horrible.
[10:58] Unbelievably horrible.
[11:01] I mean,
[11:03] first of all, I hardly I hardly played
[11:05] harmonium. I hardly knew any melodies.
[11:08] So I would just sit there go
[11:19] And you know we only had one instruction
[11:23] sing.
[11:25] There was nothing about for how long or
[11:29] when we might stop.
[11:32] It was like eternal damnation.
[11:35] [laughter]
[11:40] Krishna Krishna all day long
[11:45] and so there I was you know and uh
[11:49] uh the mind starts to get very creative
[11:52] in moments like that when you ask ask it
[11:54] to pay attention you know so I'm going
[11:56] while I'm singing I'm replaying my life
[11:59] from let's see when I was three wow yeah
[12:02] I remember that hat I had when I was
[12:03] three that was cool yeah it was like
[12:05] this harrishna
[12:08] and this kept going on and on and on and
[12:10] on.
[12:14] After a couple of weeks of pretty much
[12:16] like 8, 10, 12 hours a day,
[12:21] I would be singing and
[12:24] I would notice a thought coming through
[12:28] and it would go
[12:30] and it I wasn't thinking it.
[12:35] It was a thought. A thought means like
[12:41] something with content you know that you
[12:44] usually think but it I wasn't think I
[12:47] wasn't thinking the thought was just
[12:49] going through and Har Krishna was going
[12:51] on and Har Krishna was home base the
[12:54] mantra was home base and I was leaning
[12:57] back into it and relaxing and it was
[13:00] just going on and the thoughts were
[13:02] coming and going and it was the first
[13:05] time in my life that I was uh
[13:10] ever freed from that oppressiveness of
[13:13] the constant thinking and emotions and
[13:16] on and on.
[13:19] There was a second time actually but it
[13:21] was actually before that and of course I
[13:23] was on a thousand micrograms of acid.
[13:28] I was lying in my bed and
[13:32] I'd been like I don't know out in the
[13:34] lawn playing with the dog for the last
[13:35] 10 hours and [laughter]
[13:39] I don't know what. And then I went home.
[13:40] I went inside and I lay down in the bed
[13:42] and I was kind of just gazing out the
[13:44] window like
[13:50] what is that?
[13:52] Something was coming towards me
[13:57] and I I I didn't know what it was. I
[13:59] could feel it though it was coming and
[14:01] it was coming closer and closer closer
[14:03] and clos.
[14:08] And I was thinking
[14:10] and I was thinking
[14:14] and then it started to leave.
[14:18] No, don't go. Don't go.
[14:22] And then it was gone and I was just
[14:27] and then another one, right? And they
[14:30] started coming. It took a while, but
[14:32] they started coming more quickly and
[14:33] more quickly and leaving more quickly
[14:35] and quickly. And then after a while, I
[14:36] was just back. I was me again.
[14:41] And I saw me as just this group of
[14:43] thoughts that I that I that are me. And
[14:48] when they're not there, they're not
[14:49] there. But I am
[14:52] me is not there but there's presence
[14:54] you're there.
[14:56] That was a that was a big thing. And so
[14:58] later on but it's different when you
[15:02] don't take 1,000 micrograms of acid as
[15:04] you can imagine. and it might be a
[15:05] little different
[15:09] and it's it was a deeper experience
[15:12] because it was happening in real time
[15:15] kind of you know and I was chanting
[15:19] and
[15:21] the thoughts were going through by
[15:23] themselves and I was just good watching
[15:28] them go
[15:30] and we had to I would have never had
[15:32] that experience if Maharaji hadn't
[15:34] forced us to sing.
[15:36] He forced us to sing. We didn't want to
[15:39] sing. We wanted to look at him. That's
[15:40] all we did. We
[15:43] stared at it. That was our practice.
[15:48] And he pretended to like it. He would
[15:50] sit there and throw fruit at us and
[15:52] smile and laugh. That's what we did.
[15:56] I mean, that's all we ever wanted to do
[15:58] also.
[16:00] So when we were asked to like sit around
[16:03] the corner in this little room and chant
[16:05] for many many hours, it was like
[16:09] being banished to inner darkness.
[16:12] It was terrible.
[16:14] But because of that, I actually was
[16:17] forced to have that personal
[16:20] understanding of the direction that this
[16:23] stuff moves us.
[16:27] So that's why when we when I share this
[16:29] practice with people, I I just simply
[16:31] share it the way I do it. You know,
[16:33] other people share it different ways. I
[16:36] don't I sh I say sing, pay attention.
[16:41] When you notice that you're dreaming and
[16:43] fantasizing and remembering and blah
[16:45] blah blah, just come back to the
[16:46] chanting.
[16:48] The moment you notice you're gone or
[16:52] you've been gone, you're actually back.
[16:56] If you think about that, that's kind of
[16:59] miraculous.
[17:01] Why does that happen?
[17:03] How come why don't we just aren't we
[17:05] gone forever? Well, most of us are.
[17:13] Well, they say that, you know, a thought
[17:15] has a certain amount of energy and it it
[17:18] gets dissipated and then it releases
[17:20] you. you it this thought disappears
[17:23] dissipates and you're back drops you
[17:25] back into your true nature for a
[17:28] billionth of a second.
[17:31] So when we chant we keep repeating these
[17:33] names we keep coming back to these names
[17:35] which we don't know what they mean but
[17:37] that's the way it's supposed to be. You
[17:40] can't know the meaning the real meaning
[17:43] of these names on the intellectual or
[17:46] emotional level.
[17:48] These names of our true being which is
[17:51] beyond thought, beyond emotion,
[17:57] the the mind, the intellect can't ever
[18:03] grab that.
[18:05] But we can know within what that is
[18:08] eventually
[18:10] because it's not outside of us. It's our
[18:12] true nature. It's our own hearts. We're
[18:15] calling the names of our own beings, our
[18:17] own hearts.
[18:24] [cough and clears throat]
[18:35] So when we chant, we simply pay
[18:38] attention. And I know that sounds kind
[18:41] of
[18:43] boring.
[18:45] But everything comes from that.
[18:48] You know, if you're trying to get
[18:49] through a door on the other side of the
[18:50] room, you kind of have to walk towards
[18:52] it. You can't walk in this direction and
[18:55] expect to go through that door. So,
[18:57] paying attention is moving in the right
[18:59] direction.
[19:01] And when you go through the door of
[19:04] attention, you there's a lot of stuff on
[19:07] the other side of the door, but you
[19:09] don't see that on this side of the door.
[19:11] And no one can tell you what's going to
[19:13] be on the other side of the door.
[19:16] It's not a very good simile, but it
[19:18] makes a little sense.
[19:21] Everything you need to know is within
[19:23] you. Everything we need to know is
[19:25] within us. Nobody has to give us
[19:27] anything. You don't have to be initiated
[19:30] and and by anybody uh never mind.
[19:36] All you have to do is sit down and be do
[19:40] some practice. Start paying some
[19:42] attention.
[19:44] Everything comes from that.
[19:56] Anyway, let's uh take some questions and
[19:59] stuff if you have any. I will pretend I
[20:02] have answers.
[20:05] There's a a microphone that'll go
[20:06] around.
[20:08] >> You can ask anything and I can refuse to
[20:11] answer.
[20:21] >> I think you're right by the speaker. So,
[20:23] >> yeah. Stand up.
[20:26] >> So, on my lanyard it says, "By his
[20:28] grace."
[20:29] >> Hold. Hold it a little closer.
[20:30] >> On the lanyard here, it says, "By his
[20:32] grace."
[20:32] >> By his grace. Yeah. Mhm.
[20:34] >> Is that Maharaji?
[20:35] >> Yeah, we're referring to Maharaji.
[20:37] >> Yeah.
[20:37] >> Yeah, that's a good question.
[20:40] Everything I do refers to Maharaji.
[20:43] By his grace is also the name of a book
[20:46] written by one of Maharaji's great old
[20:48] devotees named Dada. Dada Mukerji.
[20:54] Dada was too much. He was so
[20:55] extraordinary. He was a a communist
[20:59] economics professor.
[21:03] In India, communism is a little
[21:04] different. It's more of a economic thing
[21:06] rather than a social thing.
[21:09] And uh
[21:11] one day uh
[21:15] Dada was home with some of his friends
[21:17] and uh Dada's wife
[21:20] he was putting her shoes on to go
[21:23] outside and Dada said, "Where are you
[21:24] going?" And she said, 'Well, I heard
[21:27] that there's a saint that comes to the
[21:29] little house across the street and I
[21:32] wanted I heard he's there and I was
[21:34] going to go see him. Good.
[21:37] Dada wasn't interested in saints.
[21:40] So, she went she goes out and she walks
[21:42] across the the street and there's this
[21:44] little mud hut, very poor person's house
[21:47] and it's no light inside, very dark. So
[21:49] she bends down and goes in and she sits
[21:53] down and and the the person who was sitt
[21:55] the saint was sitting on a little cot
[21:58] and he looked at him called her by her
[22:00] first name. Camala go home
[22:06] and she she how did he know my name?
[22:11] And she didn't move right and a couple
[22:13] of minutes later he looks back at her. I
[22:14] said go home your husband's friends are
[22:17] waiting for their tea.
[22:20] I'll come tomorrow.
[22:23] So she didn't know what to do. She had
[22:24] to leave. Right? So she goes back to her
[22:26] house and
[22:28] daughter says to her, "Why are you back
[22:30] so soon?" And she tells him what
[22:32] happened and he got curious, right? So
[22:34] the next day
[22:36] he walks across the street with his wife
[22:38] and they walk into this little house and
[22:40] this saint stands up, grabs his hand and
[22:44] starts walking out of the house across
[22:47] the street to his house. And as he's
[22:49] walking and pulling Dada along, he says,
[22:52] "From now on, I'll be staying with you."
[22:56] [laughter]
[22:57] I mean, think about that. you met some
[23:00] homeless guy in the supermarket
[23:05] and you go back out to your car and he's
[23:06] sitting in the front seat and he says
[23:08] from now on I'll be staying with you.
[23:11] [laughter]
[23:14] Well, you know, they knew he was a
[23:16] saint. So they kind of said okay well
[23:19] and so he sat down and then some of the
[23:22] people from across the street came in
[23:24] and sat down and then some of the ladies
[23:26] came and they started preparing food and
[23:28] more people started arriving and food
[23:30] was prepared and prasad was given out to
[23:33] everybody and and that was that he left
[23:37] and came back he kept coming and going
[23:38] and
[23:40] then daughter became a devotey just like
[23:43] not just like that but over years
[23:45] there's another book called the near and
[23:47] the dear by Dada which is so great and
[23:50] in it he
[23:53] talks about his friends that he met the
[23:55] other older devotees and and his basic
[23:58] premise is that he never learned
[24:00] anything from Maharaji everything he
[24:02] learned about love and devotion was from
[24:04] the devotees who had already been with
[24:06] him for some time and it's just you
[24:10] really have to you can really taste it
[24:13] is there a question in the back a hand
[24:15] we scratching or something. No,
[24:18] disappeared over here. Somebody
[24:21] >> those books, by the way, are available
[24:24] uh online. Is that correct?
[24:27] >> Yeah,
[24:27] >> they are available online.
[24:29] >> They're available
[24:30] >> as iBooks and also from Amazon, I think.
[24:32] Right.
[24:33] >> Yes. Okay, there you go.
[24:36] >> I think you have some of one of them at
[24:38] least.
[24:39] >> Go ahead. Oh. Um, you said yesterday and
[24:43] then
[24:44] >> the microphone hold it like this.
[24:46] >> Okay.
[24:49] >> You said yesterday and today that when
[24:52] you saw Ramdas, um, you knew that
[24:57] what you've always wanted existed.
[25:02] Was it love? What was it that you always
[25:04] wanted? I don't
[25:05] >> I don't I don't know how to describe it.
[25:07] >> I figured,
[25:08] >> but [laughter]
[25:12] But I can tell you nobody had to tell
[25:13] me.
[25:14] >> Yeah.
[25:14] >> That I what it was.
[25:16] >> I hear you.
[25:17] >> And that's what it feels like.
[25:19] >> Yeah.
[25:19] >> It's like when you fall in love,
[25:20] somebody has to tell you, "Oh, I heard
[25:23] you fell in love today." Oh, really? I
[25:24] didn't notice,
[25:26] >> you know.
[25:27] >> Yeah.
[25:28] >> It's You fall into whatever that is.
[25:32] >> Good. Thank you.
[25:33] >> You're welcome.
[25:45] Hi Krishna.
[25:46] >> Hi.
[25:46] >> Hi. Um
[25:49] question. I'm
[25:51] struggling a little bit with um as far
[25:54] as spiritual practice. I'm having a bit
[25:56] of a problem with doing it right. Um
[25:59] which I'm sure no one else struggles
[26:01] with.
[26:02] Um, [clears throat]
[26:06] I'm developing a really good
[26:08] relationship with a lot of people at the
[26:10] Christian Temple where I live. And my
[26:12] spiritual practice is very slowly but
[26:14] surely progressing.
[26:16] >> To what? From what?
[26:18] >> I Well, from being a drug addict to
[26:20] being a non-drug addict. I don't know.
[26:22] >> That's a good direction to go.
[26:24] >> It's certainly saved my life.
[26:25] >> It's cheaper.
[26:26] >> It's cheaper.
[26:29] >> And there's [clears throat] job
[26:30] security. So
[26:31] >> yeah.
[26:32] >> Um
[26:34] so my question is um I'm trying to fit
[26:40] in. Um you know I really try to
[26:44] incorporate people from temple. I like
[26:45] to have them come over and let's have a
[26:47] feast at my house and let's have kan and
[26:49] all this kind of stuff but they're like
[26:50] no I can't come over because you have
[26:52] dogs and you know all the rules with the
[26:55] Krishnas
[26:56] >> right
[26:58] >> are really um creating a wall
[27:03] and I can't break it down because they
[27:05] just keep rebuilding.
[27:06] >> Why do you want to?
[27:09] >> Maybe it's not the way you're supposed
[27:10] to go.
[27:12] >> But I love the Gita. I love the
[27:14] scripture. I love the saying the the
[27:17] talking of Praabada,
[27:18] >> right?
[27:19] >> But I also love these people and I want
[27:20] them to come to my house without
[27:22] freaking out because I have a dog.
[27:24] >> I mean, the little things, the little
[27:26] you know, I can't
[27:27] >> Well, you have two choices.
[27:28] >> Okay.
[27:29] >> Get rid of the dog.
[27:31] >> Nuhuh.
[27:32] >> Or uh, you know, just go to the temple
[27:34] and enjoy yourself. What's the problem?
[27:38] I think you're looking for a little
[27:39] security of a of a satsang, which is a
[27:42] very good thing to look for.
[27:44] Perhaps you're not looking in the right
[27:45] place for you.
[27:47] You're not finding it. So maybe you
[27:49] should look somewhere else.
[27:52] They they have their tradition which
[27:54] they teach, which they share, which they
[27:57] believe in. And they don't accept other
[27:59] ways of doing things. Period. That's it.
[28:03] So either you do it their way or you
[28:04] don't do it with them. There's no
[28:06] halfway.
[28:08] So that's it. What are you going to do?
[28:14] travel with you.
[28:15] >> Yeah, right.
[28:20] [applause]
[28:21] >> My dog is very small.
[28:23] >> I'm allerg [cheering]
[28:26] I'm really allergic.
[28:28] >> She's No, no, no. She's hypergenic.
[28:30] >> I just got more allergic.
[28:31] >> 5 lbs.
[28:32] >> Even more. I can hardly breathe.
[28:39] >> Fine.
[28:39] >> Okay, let's go back to the beginning.
[28:41] >> Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I from the
[28:44] little bit you're telling about your
[28:45] history and what your life, I can see
[28:47] there's been a lot of hard times
[28:50] >> and you're you're looking for some
[28:54] some friends really, right?
[28:57] >> I just I want a home.
[28:59] >> Well,
[28:59] >> I want a spiritual home.
[29:01] >> You have that. That's you.
[29:04] You know, it's not out there. What
[29:06] you're looking for is some support and
[29:09] that's available in many different ways,
[29:11] many from many different teachings and
[29:15] there are many teachers out there with
[29:17] groups and different places. But if
[29:19] you're not comfortable, would you trust
[29:20] yourself for Christ's sake? What's wrong
[29:22] with you? You got to trust yourself.
[29:24] You're everything you're you know, you
[29:26] don't seem to you believe what your what
[29:28] your your experience is, but then you
[29:30] kind of you want to step on them.
[29:33] You're telling me this, they won't come
[29:34] to my house because I have a dog.
[29:37] You could say that from now until like
[29:39] the next yuga and that's not going to
[29:42] change as long as your dog lives that
[29:44] long
[29:46] to the next yoga. So you have to deal
[29:49] with reality, right? What you're looking
[29:52] for is good. You need that. So look
[29:55] somewhere where you could find it.
[29:58] You're not finding it where you're
[30:00] looking. there's that's not an incorrect
[30:04] uh assessment of the situation,
[30:07] right? So,
[30:10] you know,
[30:12] try to be a little patient with
[30:15] yourself, which is not easy, right?
[30:17] Yeah. But that's that's the key to it
[30:20] all. Let life come to you a little bit.
[30:23] Don't be so afraid.
[30:25] Not doing sometimes is better than doing
[30:28] as you know
[30:30] >> on every level, right?
[30:32] >> Yeah.
[30:34] >> Once you've done all you can do, then
[30:36] you can't do anymore. So, you just have
[30:38] to wait. But waiting is also being, you
[30:41] know, I mean, don't it's better than
[30:42] banging your head against a wall that
[30:44] that's not going to give in,
[30:47] >> right?
[30:47] >> I'm not criticizing Iskan. I'm just
[30:50] saying that they do things a certain way
[30:52] and they're not going to change. So
[30:54] either you're a part of that or you're
[30:55] not. And uh
[30:59] some of my closest friends are Iskan
[31:01] Swamies you know and they're fantastic
[31:04] really I do have very close friends in
[31:06] Iskan and and the devotion is wonderful
[31:08] but it's it's a particular way of doing
[31:11] it and even in Bindavan there's many
[31:14] many ways of doing it and Bindavan is
[31:17] Krishna's place there's guys who go
[31:18] around going J Sri Krishna there's guys
[31:21] who go around J Sri Rad and then guys
[31:23] going Rad Rad Krishna Krishna you har
[31:26] Krishna Sri Ram Jram everybody everybody
[31:29] you know sometimes feel like a nut
[31:32] sometimes you don't
[31:36] [laughter]
[31:40] you're
[31:42] what you looking for is real. It's good.
[31:46] It's wholesome. It's fantastic. You know
[31:48] what it is. So trust that and look for
[31:51] that. Don't don't look where it isn't.
[31:53] When you don't find it, that means it's
[31:55] not there. Actually,
[31:58] can you imagine that that you could
[31:59] trust yourself?
[32:02] >> The
[32:04] It's hard to imagine, isn't it?
[32:05] >> Yeah.
[32:06] >> Cuz we're not we're not trained to trust
[32:08] ourselves. Not from day one. We're not
[32:11] trained to trust.
[32:13] >> So,
[32:14] >> but that's the that's the whole thing
[32:16] cuz when you really trust yourself,
[32:19] then you know what who you are. So the
[32:25] whole path is about removing
[32:28] the non-rusting yourself, your true
[32:30] nature, your real self, which you
[32:33] already have. And all you're doing is
[32:36] clearing away the And that's
[32:38] what's going to be there cuz it's
[32:40] already there. You don't need anything.
[32:43] You want something. I understand because
[32:45] you feel that it will help and it could
[32:47] if it comes to you. If it doesn't, what
[32:49] are you going to do?
[32:51] >> You're not going to get rid of the dog.
[32:52] That's for sure.
[32:54] So be you.
[32:57] Be you with the dog.
[32:59] You know there's a great story of uh uh
[33:02] Udistra who is the king of the pondas.
[33:05] Arjuna was his brother. Beimma you know
[33:07] the five brothers and Udistra was
[33:10] supposed to be the incarnation of dharma
[33:13] of righteousness.
[33:18] So,
[33:20] um,
[33:25] I probably get this story wrong, but I
[33:27] usually do, but I'll get close. So,
[33:30] after he left the body, uh, it's it's
[33:33] decreed that all kings u must go to
[33:36] visit hell, right?
[33:39] But uh anyway,
[33:42] so everywhere he went through his as he
[33:44] left the body, the different spheres and
[33:47] worlds that he passed through, there was
[33:49] this little dog with him. He didn't know
[33:52] where the dog came from, you know, but
[33:54] the dog was with him everywhere he went.
[33:56] So,
[33:58] um
[34:02] let's see now. There's a couple of
[34:04] things that happened. One thing that
[34:06] happened, he gets to heaven and uh he
[34:09] looks around for his brothers and his
[34:12] family and they're not there. And uh
[34:17] and uh [clears throat] he says, "Well, I
[34:20] don't want to be in heaven if uh my my
[34:22] brothers aren't here. Where are they?"
[34:25] And uh his guide says, "Well, I don't
[34:27] think you really want to know." Said,
[34:28] "No, I want to know. Tell me." He says,
[34:30] "Well, okay. Come with me."
[34:34] And there they are. They're sitting in
[34:36] hell and there's his brothers. And your
[34:38] sister says, "This is where I want to
[34:40] be. I don't care what it's like." And of
[34:42] course, immediately the scene changes
[34:44] and they're back in heaven. Cuz that was
[34:46] just a test, right? So then
[34:50] as he's about to enter into heaven with
[34:52] his brothers, the the the gatekeeper
[34:54] says, "You can come in, but
[34:58] not the dog. I I wonder what group he
[35:01] was in.
[35:04] I know
[35:06] >> you can come in but not the dog and say
[35:08] oh no this dog has followed me through
[35:11] you know thick and thin the everything
[35:13] I'm not going to to abandon this dog.
[35:17] So at that moment the dog turns into his
[35:20] father Dharma the you know the king of
[35:23] dharma and they all enter the heaven
[35:26] worlds together.
[35:27] >> So you have to trust yourself and do
[35:29] what's right for you. That's the best
[35:32] thing you could ever do and that's the
[35:35] way everything will come to you
[35:37] because you're allowing it to by your
[35:40] trust of yourself by you know I'm not
[35:43] saying you have to love every little bit
[35:44] of part of yourself but if something's
[35:46] not working
[35:48] okay it's not working it's not that
[35:50] there's anything wrong with you
[35:53] it's just that it's not working for
[35:55] better whatever right next right when I
[35:59] started to chant
[36:01] Uh
[36:02] there wasn't a lot of chanting going on,
[36:05] nor was there anybody to tell me how I
[36:07] should do it in America. Right.
[36:10] >> Right.
[36:10] >> I mean, you know,
[36:13] so I did what I thought I should do,
[36:15] which was to sing what I like. Why would
[36:18] I sing what I don't like? And that's
[36:21] what I still do. And if I didn't sing
[36:24] what I like, I doubt you'd be here, you
[36:27] know, because you tell I you could tell
[36:30] I didn't really like it. So, I'm
[36:32] actually singing ex I'm doing exactly
[36:34] what I want to do. Like, give or take,
[36:37] you know, a few other things, you know,
[36:39] like I can't eat ice cream anymore, you
[36:41] know, but there's good coconut ice
[36:42] cream. That's good.
[36:45] So through following that part of you
[36:49] that knows,
[36:51] right? That's how you get stronger and
[36:55] stronger and you attract to yourself the
[36:57] things that you need. They'll come to
[37:00] you. A little patience, but you got your
[37:03] dog to keep you company. What's the big
[37:04] deal?
[37:05] >> Yes, I do. Thank you.
[37:06] >> You're welcome.
[37:19] Can you speak a little bit about where
[37:21] the melodies come from? I know they're
[37:23] traditional melodies, but do they come
[37:25] to you? Do you h how do you receive them
[37:28] or how do you how does that happen?
[37:30] What's that process like for you?
[37:32] >> Uh
[37:34] I don't know, you know, I really don't
[37:36] know. I I've almost never sit down to
[37:39] write a kan. I'm usually driving and I'm
[37:43] singing something and I go, "Wow, I
[37:45] never heard that before." And then
[37:47] that's another kon. Sometimes I actually
[37:50] on the the last CD kan one of the one of
[37:54] the melodies I was actually singing in
[37:56] my dream when I woke up. So I got I
[37:59] quickly got the tape recorder cuz I know
[38:01] I don't have a brain and I recorded it
[38:04] at like 4 in the morning and I went back
[38:05] to sleep. Of course, I didn't remember
[38:06] it in the morning, but I had the
[38:08] recorder.
[38:10] That's how Keith wrote the uh Keith
[38:12] Richards wrote the beginning to
[38:13] satisfaction.
[38:15] So, me and Keith have a lot of common.
[38:19] >> Yeah.
[38:22] I once s I once saw an interview with
[38:26] Keith. I mean, and he was saying
[38:28] somebody asked him how they Oh man, you
[38:30] just kind of like open up to the
[38:31] universe and just comes through you.
[38:36] Keith.
[38:37] So there you go. Me and Keith.
[38:43] But uh if you listen carefully like for
[38:46] instance this is what is this
[38:48] confessional like I wrote after Mr.
[38:51] Toari died. Mr. Tari was my best friend
[38:54] my teacher and old devotey of Maharaji.
[38:58] That's what right after that he dropped
[39:00] Namashibaya on me. I mean, I just knew
[39:03] the whole song just boom, right? It just
[39:05] came through one day. It was many years
[39:07] later that somebody said to me or I
[39:10] recognized it myself and said, "Geez,
[39:12] that's the chord to be the chords to be
[39:14] because the night." You know that song,
[39:16] Because the Night, same song.
[39:19] Springsteen ripped me off.
[39:22] He must have had a time machine, gone
[39:24] ahead in time, and heard my chant, and
[39:26] then gone back and written Because the
[39:28] night.
[39:29] >> Can you believe that?
[39:33] So it happens like that. But you know
[39:35] the thing is that there's a mixture of
[39:38] of
[39:40] a emotion is is a very powerful force
[39:43] and emotional
[39:45] uh
[39:48] the emotions that we felt growing up. A
[39:51] lot of us growing up in the 60s and 70s
[39:54] it it
[39:56] 50s
[39:58] a lot of the emotion is caught with
[40:00] music you know music really brought out
[40:02] a lot of emotion and uh so I've noticed
[40:07] that some of the chants really have
[40:09] those same core changes that
[40:12] but instead of saying oh my baby left me
[40:14] I felt so bad 20 million times you know
[40:18] and then having a nervous breakdown
[40:19] you're saying shri I'm ja and you go up
[40:21] to heaven and have a cup of tea with
[40:23] God.
[40:25] So, it's kind of like that.
[40:32] But, um yeah,
[40:35] there was one chant the uh what is it?
[40:37] The um what do we call the
[40:40] mount the mountain Hari Krishna from
[40:42] Pilgrim Heart.
[40:45] There's a chant you might have even
[40:47] heard it last night. Every night we play
[40:50] uh this beautiful, incredible Tibetan
[40:53] llama, Llama Germe, who lives in Paris.
[40:56] He made a CD called The Llama's Chant
[40:58] about 20 years ago. And I've been
[41:01] listening to it since then. I must have
[41:03] listened to it 40 million times. And I
[41:06] actually there was one melody I was
[41:08] stuck on for like months and months. And
[41:11] I said, "That's it. I'm going to write a
[41:12] Hari Krishna to this melody because I
[41:14] can't stop singing it." And I didn't
[41:16] know the Tibetan words which are
[41:18] beautiful and all the very deep
[41:20] invocation of the deities and and the
[41:22] guru and so that the har that one
[41:26] harrishna
[41:29] harrishna
[41:30] see that one that one was a ripoff of
[41:33] the Tibetan chant.
[41:36] Now I've borrowed. Thank you. Thank you.
[41:39] I'm not guilty.
[41:42] But otherwise, they just come through as
[41:43] they come through and
[41:46] I don't really
[41:48] I don't edit them that much.
[41:52] I just sing what I like, you know? Can
[41:54] you imagine?
[41:56] So nice.
[41:59] So,
[42:02] and it was it was hard at first, you I
[42:04] got a lot of flack from people that
[42:06] you're not doing this the right way.
[42:09] Okay, that's I'm glad to hear that
[42:13] cuz no, somebody else's right way is not
[42:15] my right way. You know, I have to do
[42:17] what works for me. If I wasn't doing
[42:19] what works for me when you come to sing,
[42:22] when we come to sing together,
[42:25] it wouldn't feel the way it feels. So,
[42:28] I'm doing my practice.
[42:31] I'm doing what help, what frees me, what
[42:33] gets me, what straightens me out, what,
[42:36] you know, what opens my heart, brings me
[42:38] into that presence, that openness. And
[42:42] so, cuz that's what I'm doing. We get
[42:46] together, we help each other to do that
[42:50] because I you know I was
[42:54] Maharaji left the body in 1973
[42:58] and I didn't really start singing to
[43:00] people this way until 1994.
[43:06] Stubborn,
[43:08] stubborn and very unhappy for a long
[43:10] time. And then I was standing in my room
[43:12] in New York and uh at the time and
[43:16] literally I was struck with the
[43:19] understanding that if I did not chant
[43:22] with people and it was very much with
[43:24] people I would never never be able to
[43:28] clean out the dark corners in my own
[43:30] heart. And I knew that that's where all
[43:33] the problems were coming from. all the
[43:36] suffering was coming from my own stuff
[43:39] that I could not see and couldn't deal
[43:42] with and that the only thing that had
[43:46] been given to me that I could do for
[43:48] myself was to start chanting with
[43:50] people.
[43:53] It took a while actually. It was hard
[43:54] for me for a lot of reasons.
[43:59] And that's why I sing today. Nothing's
[44:02] changed. I keep that's why why I do what
[44:05] I do.
[44:09] Yeah, somebody over there. Where's the
[44:10] mic?
[44:12] >> Okay, we'll get to you next. Okay.
[44:14] >> Uh that big poster straight behind you.
[44:18] Uh
[44:18] >> that's
[44:21] >> that's Da Vindasin Duradei.
[44:25] >> Okay. I was just going to say I've been
[44:27] hanging out with Rondaos off and on for
[44:29] decades but and I know all about Hanuman
[44:33] and Buddha and Maharishi but
[44:35] >> Maharaji
[44:36] >> Maharaji
[44:37] >> Maharishi was
[44:37] >> but the uh the picture behind you is
[44:39] like uh don't identify with it one bit
[44:42] then
[44:43] >> that's the Morty in Kenshi that's a new
[44:47] a new Da temple that Maharaji built in
[44:49] 1972
[44:51] about a year before he left the body
[44:53] right in the courtyard in Kenshi
[44:55] It's called Vindia Vasini Dura Dvi.
[44:58] There's a form of the goddess.
[45:02] If you go back in time, one of the early
[45:05] stories is how uh
[45:11] Shiva was his first wife was named Sati
[45:14] Sati. And her father was the king was
[45:17] the king of the Himalayas. And her
[45:20] father didn't like Shiva because he was
[45:24] smoked hash all the time, wandered
[45:26] around with goblins and ghosts and was
[45:29] you know
[45:31] just a total basket case kind of you
[45:33] know and so when he gave this big
[45:36] ceremony this big fire ceremony he
[45:39] invited all the deities but he didn't
[45:41] invite Shiva and his daughter Sati was
[45:44] very angry about that and she went to
[45:47] confront her father and he wouldn't
[45:49] listen to her. So she threw herself in
[45:51] the fire
[45:54] and Shiva
[45:56] shows up on the scene, grabs her body
[45:58] and he starts flying around the universe
[46:00] in grief and he was the he was going to
[46:04] destroy the universe in his grief. So
[46:07] the gods appealed to Vishnu. Vishnu
[46:09] sends out his weapon which is the chakra
[46:12] and he cuts up the body of Sati who's
[46:14] already dead obviously you know cuts her
[46:16] up into 10 pieces and those pieces fell
[46:20] in various places in India and each of
[46:23] those places is called the shaktip a a
[46:26] center of extraordinarily of power
[46:30] of of the goddess.
[46:33] One of those places is the Vindia Hills.
[46:36] Vindia Hills. Vishnavi Dvi in the Vindia
[46:39] Hills. And this is a form of that
[46:41] goddess who lives in the Vindia Hills.
[46:44] The other another form another
[46:47] is Nanal because the goddess's eyes fell
[46:50] there in the lake and there's a very
[46:52] ancient Dura temple in Nanal which is
[46:55] right near Keni which is where KK lives
[46:58] in Nanal.
[47:00] So this is part of the Indian
[47:03] side of stuff.
[47:07] Uh so she's a form of dura the goddess
[47:10] who destroys all difficulties and takes
[47:13] us across the ocean of samsara the ocean
[47:16] of this world
[47:19] and
[47:20] Maharaji being Maharaji in the hills
[47:24] kali is worshiped very in many places
[47:26] and one of the ways kali's worship
[47:28] traditionally is to slaughter a goat or
[47:30] a chicken so Maharaji said I'll build a
[47:34] temple to the goddess but we'll build to
[47:37] Vishnavi Dvi the shakti of Vishnu
[47:40] because she doesn't accept any
[47:42] sacrifices otherwise these miserable
[47:45] villages will be dragging their goats in
[47:46] here he said
[47:50] [laughter]
[47:53] so so that's what's there
[47:56] and then you were at you you got to wait
[47:59] for the mic where's the mic you can pass
[48:02] it back raise your hand you pass it back
[48:10] That's the temple. By the way, this is
[48:12] the Davyi. When Maharaji made me the
[48:16] pujari or the priest of the Durga
[48:19] temple, it was this temple.
[48:22] And the reason he made me the priest was
[48:24] because uh they brought in a Brahman
[48:27] priest and um after a few days they
[48:31] caught him stealing the money out of the
[48:32] donation box.
[48:34] So they sent him home and they brought
[48:36] in a second one and after a few days
[48:39] they found him stealing the money. So
[48:42] they sent him home and they brought in a
[48:44] third one
[48:46] and then after they caught him and sent
[48:48] him home the temple trust came to
[48:50] Maharaji and they said Baba we can't
[48:52] find a priest that won't steal. What are
[48:55] we going to do? Maharaji goes my priest
[48:58] won't steal.
[49:00] Your priest? Who's your priest?
[49:04] Krishna Das.
[49:08] So I was summoned from uh inner darkness
[49:11] the back of the temple where everybody
[49:13] spent their time
[49:16] and asked to sit out there and be the
[49:17] the pujari. And uh just want you to know
[49:20] I am qualified for this. You see
[49:25] >> okay I'll try I'll try and do this. Um
[49:28] I'm struck by the you say power last
[49:33] night was ultimately the true surrender
[49:35] like you need power to fully surrender
[49:37] to who you really are and that we know
[49:41] who we truly are deep inside ourselves
[49:44] like all the other stuff is excess and
[49:46] can just be lost let go of
[49:48] >> exterior
[49:49] >> exterior can be let go of.
[49:50] >> Yeah. Yet on the other side which to me
[49:53] feels very much about individual not
[49:56] individuality of ego but just a personal
[49:59] inward journey. Mhm.
[50:01] >> And then on the other side, I have this
[50:04] notion of community and belonging and
[50:07] the love and the support that,
[50:11] you know, you just said a few minutes
[50:12] ago, I had to sing with other people.
[50:16] >> And we have other people who said, I
[50:17] needed to be, you know, I want to be
[50:19] belong. I want to be in community.
[50:22] >> And um Trudy talked about a man who was
[50:25] full of hatred. And it wasn't until he
[50:27] got that sense of belonging that he was
[50:30] able to then
[50:33] >> find his own love.
[50:35] >> So I'm just wanted you to speak a little
[50:37] bit about that tension of um
[50:41] our human need to belong and to be in
[50:44] community and our need to then do the
[50:48] personal work internally.
[50:51] >> You know someone asked the Buddha what's
[50:52] the most important? No, the Buddha asked
[50:55] uh Ananda I think or Sar Puta one of
[50:58] those guys which what what is the most
[51:00] important thing in uh
[51:03] on the path you know there there's three
[51:05] jewels the dharma the Buddha the dharma
[51:08] and the sa which is the most important
[51:10] and they all said the Buddha and he said
[51:12] oh no the most important thing is the sa
[51:16] the satsang the company
[51:20] the community of seekers
[51:22] you Now uh ultimately of course
[51:25] everything happens inside of you. If if
[51:27] you will be liberated, if you will be
[51:29] happy, where is it going to happen next
[51:31] door? You know it's going to happen to
[51:33] you inside of you. How that happens and
[51:36] how we can create the the circumstances
[51:39] for that to arise
[51:41] is different for everybody. But one
[51:44] thing's for sure uh community makes it
[51:48] very possible and much more probable
[51:51] that we can get the strength to go
[51:53] through the difficult times without
[51:56] being completely destroyed by them. You
[51:59] know, people to talk to, people to get
[52:01] advice from, people who might know
[52:02] something,
[52:04] friends, people to commiserate with.
[52:07] This is all important stuff. Very few of
[52:09] us are really qualified to be hermits,
[52:11] you know. Uh
[52:15] so
[52:16] >> so it's just you know when you think
[52:18] about groups like the KKK or you know
[52:21] truly horrific groups
[52:22] >> is KK and the KKK
[52:23] >> no thank goodness
[52:25] >> that's a different KKK
[52:26] >> KK different K but so there's the you
[52:28] know and so I guess it's somehow
[52:31] nurturing
[52:33] >> well
[52:33] >> the ability to know when the community
[52:35] or the group where you're seeking
[52:37] belonging
[52:39] um is righteous. Well, yeah, that's but
[52:43] how will you know? You'll know that
[52:44] inside yourself. And if you find out
[52:46] that you're wrong, then you leave. You
[52:48] know, that's the thing. Uh
[52:53] groups can go in any direction, of
[52:55] course, and as human beings, we tend to
[52:58] go to the lowest common denominator, you
[53:00] know. Uh it's just the way we are. We're
[53:04] trained to be stupid, you know, and we
[53:08] practice it with great intensity
[53:10] [laughter]
[53:11] at every chance we get. So, but in the
[53:15] case of the satsang or the you know, the
[53:17] the the friends on the path, you know,
[53:20] you're these are people who you you've
[53:23] got some trust for that they're doing
[53:26] the right thing for themselves and
[53:28] they're sharing that with you. But if
[53:30] you get enter, if you get with a group
[53:32] that doesn't work, you know, it's not
[53:34] feeling right to you. Why would you
[53:36] stay?
[53:38] You know,
[53:39] I'm not one of those people. You know,
[53:41] some people say, uh, I was told that you
[53:44] you should, uh, only repeat one mantra.
[53:46] You should pick one deity to be, you
[53:48] know. I said, okay.
[53:51] Yeah. So, you were told that.
[53:55] Good. Does it work for you? I don't
[53:58] think so. Why would you do it then? Do
[54:00] what works for you. Yeah. As westerners,
[54:02] we don't have the
[54:06] We're coming from We We grew up with
[54:08] Mickey Mouse for Christ's sake,
[54:11] you know? I mean, it's a long way from
[54:13] Mickey Mouse to Rom.
[54:15] Long way.
[54:19] A long way. So, you got to start from
[54:22] where you're at. You got to be who you
[54:24] are. Got to find something that you like
[54:26] to do or you'll never do it. You know, I
[54:29] mean, come on. It's just let's not let's
[54:31] just get to the day. That's the main
[54:33] thing, you know.
[54:39] >> It's a long way from Mickey Mouse
[54:43] to
[54:45] J.
[54:48] Well, there you go. You see where the
[54:49] chance come from. [laughter]
[54:52] Another one of the greatest hits of the
[54:54] Kaliuga. Okay.
[54:58] Where are you? Somebody. Hi.
[55:02] >> Um, I would love to hear more about Mr.
[55:04] Tari and your relationship with him and
[55:08] his relationship with Maharaji and
[55:09] anything you'd like to tell us about
[55:11] about that. Ah,
[55:20] you know,
[55:22] Tari was uh when he was a young when he
[55:26] was young, his parents died. And he was
[55:28] raised by raised by an aunt and then she
[55:30] died and uh he had taken a vow not to
[55:35] marry
[55:38] and uh so he was doing severe yoga
[55:42] practices pranam. He used [snorts] to
[55:44] tell me he would tie himself up certain
[55:46] ways and try to get the energy to get an
[55:49] inch off the ground, you know, and do
[55:51] these really intense practices. And uh
[55:56] so but Maharaji finally they one day
[55:58] they were traveling together and they
[56:00] went to this house where uh the father
[56:03] of the house had died. The mother had
[56:05] died long before and everyone was being
[56:08] taken care of by the youngest daughter
[56:09] who was about 20 I think at the time.
[56:13] And uh so Maharaji and Tawari arrived
[56:16] and they sit in the living room and this
[56:19] woman young woman's going back and forth
[56:21] bringing them food and water and
[56:24] Maharaji goes to Tawari. Hey, she's kind
[56:27] of cute, huh?
[56:30] And Maharaji starts working on it. Look
[56:32] how she's serving. How beautiful she is.
[56:35] How beautiful she serves. She's taking
[56:37] care of everybody,
[56:39] you know.
[56:45] He said, "You know, she's actually Joan
[56:48] of Arc."
[56:54] And then finally he says to her, "You
[56:57] should marry her. You know, I'm I've
[56:59] vowed not to marry." Yeah, I know. I
[57:01] know. But you should marry her. No, I
[57:02] won't do it. I should do it. Three days
[57:05] they stayed in that room arguing about
[57:08] whether he was going to marry this young
[57:10] woman
[57:12] and finally Tai says okay you want me to
[57:15] marry her I'll do so under one condition
[57:18] only this is he's fighting with his guru
[57:21] for Christ's sake here you know what's
[57:23] that I said if you write in golden
[57:26] letters on the marriage certificate
[57:28] itself that I nim karoli baba take full
[57:31] responsibility for all issue of this
[57:33] marriage and sign it. Then I'll marry. I
[57:36] won't do that. Good. Then I won't marry.
[57:38] Well, we're not leaving until you agree.
[57:40] Well, then we're not leaving cuz we're
[57:41] staying on. Finally, Maharaji said,
[57:45] "Okay, I'll do it. I have seen the piece
[57:48] of paper."
[57:51] Tari carried it with him wherever he
[57:53] went. He had a little thing where he had
[57:54] some mantras and yantras and everything.
[57:56] And he had the wedding, the marriage
[57:59] certificate with Maharaji's handwriting
[58:01] in golden letters.
[58:04] And uh so even so on the day of the
[58:06] marriage, Maharaji shows up and Tari was
[58:10] living at the the um top of the hill at
[58:13] the there's a school teacher at the
[58:15] school and the wedding party was getting
[58:19] ready to leave and Maharaji shows up
[58:20] about halfway up the hill. So Toari runs
[58:23] down and they're just sitting there
[58:26] talking and hanging out and finally
[58:27] somebody says, "Baba, this guy's
[58:29] supposed to get married and you're
[58:30] letting him sit around down here. the
[58:31] party's waiting for him. So, Maharaji
[58:33] looks at me and he said, "Jiao, go." So,
[58:38] Tari,
[58:39] they got married. So, I don't know why
[58:42] I'm telling you the story, but one day
[58:44] Tari looked at me, we were talking about
[58:46] meditation and samadei and all this, and
[58:48] he says to me, "You know, I didn't have
[58:53] my first samadei until after I got
[58:56] married.
[59:03] Ah yeah
[59:06] this this woman Mrs. Terari Ma was so
[59:09] great. Oh my god.
[59:11] You know she she lived in agony. She had
[59:15] to pain all the time from neuropathy
[59:18] from diabetes
[59:21] and the she had diabetes and she
[59:24] couldn't treat it because
[59:27] Tari had one day Tari was well it's a
[59:29] long story but Maharaji saved him from
[59:31] tuberculosis
[59:33] and told him that he had to be a
[59:36] falahari palahari which means fruit
[59:38] eater the rest of his life couldn't eat
[59:41] any grains and stuff like that milk and
[59:43] food and so being a good Indian wife she
[59:47] also stopped eating grains and when you
[59:50] don't eat food you can't take the
[59:51] certain medicines uh to control the
[59:54] blood sugar so and you couldn't convince
[59:56] her I mean you you know one time she was
[59:59] writhing in pain and I went up I said ma
[1:00:02] are you okay and she goes
[1:00:06] machine broken inside okay
[1:00:09] >> but she really meant it you know I mean
[1:00:12] it's hard for for us to understand she
[1:00:15] had it was okay. It wasn't she just
[1:00:17] wasn't making it okay inside she was
[1:00:21] good and dealing with that without a
[1:00:24] problem. It was quite extraordinary and
[1:00:28] to see her smile was like to see the
[1:00:30] lights gone in the whole universe. You
[1:00:32] couldn't I would do anything to to make
[1:00:35] her smile a little bit. It was so
[1:00:36] beautiful. Toari would explain things to
[1:00:39] me. He seemed to understand everything.
[1:00:41] You know he had studied all the
[1:00:43] scriptures he had learned his first guru
[1:00:45] was also a great guru of KKK's name
[1:00:49] Brahmachari Maharaj and he had taught
[1:00:51] him his pujas and prayers and
[1:00:55] and he would explain things to me a
[1:00:57] great you know things really intense
[1:00:59] questions he explained them perfectly
[1:01:01] and then within a few words of few
[1:01:04] seconds of finishing a few words out of
[1:01:06] my mouth he could see I didn't
[1:01:08] understand a word he said and he would
[1:01:10] look at me and go, "My boy, is there
[1:01:13] something wrong with your brain?"
[1:01:18] Yeah,
[1:01:21] he was extraordinary.
[1:01:24] Quite extraordinary.
[1:01:27] We brought him to America a few times
[1:01:31] and he went through this period where he
[1:01:32] would go into samati. I mean, he he
[1:01:36] would enter into samati very easily
[1:01:37] every day. I would sleep in the bed with
[1:01:40] him and ma would sleep with the kids
[1:01:41] when I was there and he would wake up at
[1:01:43] 3:30 in the morning, go pee, come back,
[1:01:46] sit up, boom, and be gone until tea time
[1:01:50] about 7 or 8:00. He'd just be gone. I
[1:01:53] would wake up, look at him, roll over,
[1:01:55] and go back to sleep. And not once in
[1:01:59] all those years did he ever kind of say
[1:02:01] like, "Hey, uh, you want to meditate?"
[1:02:05] He never He just let me be me. I wish he
[1:02:08] would have done something else, but he
[1:02:10] did not.
[1:02:13] And uh so he went through this period
[1:02:14] where actually he would we would be
[1:02:16] walking down the street in Berkeley and
[1:02:18] he'd just go and he'd like he almost
[1:02:22] fall over. He would go into samati. He
[1:02:24] was in these extraordinarily blissful
[1:02:27] states and be gone. I mean not
[1:02:29] breathing. You understand?
[1:02:32] Like one time I was sitting with him in
[1:02:34] the living room and we were having tea.
[1:02:38] I think he was still drinking tea at
[1:02:39] that time and I had heard a little bit
[1:02:42] of a prayer with the words not
[1:02:47] and it really got me right. So I asked
[1:02:50] him, "Have you ever heard this?" And he
[1:02:51] said, "Oh yes." I said, "Would you teach
[1:02:54] it to me?" "Oh, sure." So I got my book
[1:02:56] out and he started reciting it very
[1:02:58] slowly and I was writing it.
[1:03:02] Then in after a couple of minutes he
[1:03:04] just started going faster and faster and
[1:03:07] you know I put the book down you know
[1:03:09] and he did he knew the whole prayer. It
[1:03:11] turned out he did this prayer every day
[1:03:13] of his life for the last 50 years.
[1:03:15] Right. And he just he just kind of got
[1:03:18] lost in it and by the end he goes
[1:03:22] Oh,
[1:03:28] he went into samati
[1:03:32] 2 feet from my face.
[1:03:34] He wasn't breathing.
[1:03:37] It really pissed me off.
[1:03:41] I There I was. I couldn't get a I
[1:03:43] couldn't get a taste of this stuff to
[1:03:45] save my miserable ass. And this guy
[1:03:47] couldn't stay out of it long enough to
[1:03:49] teach me one prayer.
[1:03:51] >> [laughter]
[1:03:57] >> And he wasn't trying. Tears were pouring
[1:03:59] down his face. He was just lost. He was
[1:04:03] just immersed, you know.
[1:04:05] So Ma comes in the living room to get
[1:04:07] the teacups. And I said, "Ma, look what
[1:04:12] look at Baba. When is he going to come
[1:04:14] back?" And as she picked up the cups,
[1:04:17] she just looked at me. She said, "Don't
[1:04:19] know." went back to the kitchen,
[1:04:21] [laughter]
[1:04:24] leaving me with this crying corpse,
[1:04:26] right?
[1:04:34] That family, you know, we were talking
[1:04:35] about families before. Oh, did they
[1:04:38] fight and yell and scream? It was
[1:04:41] incredible. And I was living in the
[1:04:43] living room on the couch. I was in the
[1:04:45] middle of all of it in my house. Don't
[1:04:48] talk to me that way. Don't raise your
[1:04:50] voice to me. Don't look at me like that.
[1:04:52] In this house, there were no rules. They
[1:04:55] were screaming and yelling and
[1:04:56] everything, but the thing was there was
[1:05:00] never the slightest fear
[1:05:04] that anybody in that family would throw
[1:05:07] another person out of their heart.
[1:05:10] So, it was open game, right? It was
[1:05:14] free, whatever. And Tawari used to love
[1:05:17] to fight. He would say things that would
[1:05:19] really piss me off and I and then he
[1:05:21] would look at me like, "You will fire
[1:05:23] upon me now,
[1:05:25] [laughter]
[1:05:26] you know,
[1:05:28] you know,
[1:05:30] and we'd be I'd be yelling at him. He'd
[1:05:32] be yelling at me. We'd be eye to eye,
[1:05:34] nose tonse, and we both looking at each
[1:05:36] other like, "Wow, this is great." You
[1:05:40] know, and it was amazing. It was It was
[1:05:43] so liberating for me. This is part of
[1:05:46] what KK was talking about with the
[1:05:47] family. I was I was the eldest brother.
[1:05:50] I was accepted fully even to this day. I
[1:05:54] am the eldest brother in that family.
[1:05:56] The grandchildren bow and touch my feet.
[1:05:59] I'm the I'm the I'm just the oldest
[1:06:00] brother. And it was so wonderful. I
[1:06:03] can't tell you how much it meant to me.
[1:06:06] That kind of
[1:06:09] to be accepted like that, you know,
[1:06:13] is really powerful
[1:06:15] and loved like that and shared with like
[1:06:18] that
[1:06:20] and um
[1:06:25] trusted like that. I used to I would
[1:06:30] they were they were piece of work. This
[1:06:32] Mr. and Mrs.
[1:06:34] She had such bad bad diabetes she
[1:06:36] sometimes she could hardly walk. But we
[1:06:38] were in Rishiash and she wanted to go
[1:06:40] for her Gunga bath, a bath in the Gunga
[1:06:42] at 4 in the morning. And there's no way
[1:06:43] I'm getting up at 4 in the morning. And
[1:06:46] she's and I locked them in their room
[1:06:49] [laughter]
[1:06:51] and she comes but the room the door
[1:06:53] between the two rooms. I was sleeping
[1:06:55] with the grandson, one of her grandson.
[1:06:57] The door between the two rooms was open.
[1:06:58] So she comes in 4 in the morning. Kitty,
[1:07:01] kitty, gungab, gungab bath. I say,
[1:07:06] kitty, kitty, gunga bath. So I take the
[1:07:09] key to the room out and I hand it to the
[1:07:10] grandson. I said, you watch her.
[1:07:14] And sure enough, she fell down the
[1:07:16] stairs and ripped, you know. So there I
[1:07:19] am. I'm walking around with this little
[1:07:22] old lady, taking her to the doctor. And
[1:07:24] there's big white monkeys walking around
[1:07:26] with this little Indian woman. And
[1:07:28] everybody's looking at like, what is
[1:07:29] this about? you know, I was so proud to
[1:07:32] be helping her. It was such a great
[1:07:34] feeling. And um I took her to the
[1:07:37] doctor. She got her earrings, her ears
[1:07:39] stitched back up cuz her big hoop
[1:07:42] earrings got, you know, got caught when
[1:07:44] she fell and ripped her ears. And I
[1:07:47] yelled at her and she just went
[1:07:50] next morning 4:00, "Kitty,
[1:07:53] gnome, ganda."
[1:07:56] I couldn't say no. Right.
[1:08:01] >> [sighs]
[1:08:06] >> You know, I remember
[1:08:09] when I was living in the temple with
[1:08:10] Maharaji,
[1:08:12] I would keep thinking, you know, there's
[1:08:14] a town like, you know, Nanal is just 30
[1:08:17] minutes away.
[1:08:19] Where are the devotees?
[1:08:22] They don't come to see him. I don't
[1:08:24] understand that. And I was like, these
[1:08:27] people are weird. What's wrong with
[1:08:28] these people? And I realized later,
[1:08:30] there's nothing wrong with them.
[1:08:33] What was wrong with me? They have him
[1:08:36] wherever they are.
[1:08:39] They have him. They're doing their duty.
[1:08:43] They're living their lives as he wants
[1:08:45] them to live their lives. They're taking
[1:08:47] care of their families. They're working
[1:08:49] in their shops. They're doing what they
[1:08:51] have to do. And they are in his presence
[1:08:54] all the time. in that loving presence
[1:08:56] all the time and it was me who wasn't in
[1:08:59] it and I was judging them. You know it
[1:09:03] was very interesting when I noticed that
[1:09:14] Tari we used to go places we used to
[1:09:16] travel together and we went to uh
[1:09:18] Chitrakoot which is this place that's
[1:09:20] very sacred to Ram and we were staying
[1:09:22] in this ashram and it happened to be
[1:09:24] Shivatri
[1:09:25] and Tari was a great devotey of Shiva
[1:09:29] and he actually worshiped Maharaj I as
[1:09:32] Shiva guru is Shiva and Shivatri is the
[1:09:36] night that you you usually do a long
[1:09:40] puja almost all night long you do a puja
[1:09:42] and they used to do she Mr. and Mrs.
[1:09:45] used to stay up all night. He would belt
[1:09:48] the mantras out at the top of his lungs
[1:09:50] because that's how his guru told him to
[1:09:52] do it. He told him that when you do your
[1:09:54] puja, you must do it at the top of your
[1:09:55] lungs. No matter where you are. And once
[1:09:58] you start doing the puja, you cannot
[1:10:00] stop until it's finished. No matter what
[1:10:02] happens,
[1:10:05] interesting. So this night we were in
[1:10:07] Chakuda and they went from like 8 in the
[1:10:10] morning till about 8 at night till about
[1:10:12] 6:00 in the morning at the top of his
[1:10:13] lungs.
[1:10:14] Ma's making all the offerings and
[1:10:16] ringing the bell and doing all this and
[1:10:17] Baba is Mr. Tori is yelling and
[1:10:22] so we opened the door of this little
[1:10:23] room we were in and all the Babas in the
[1:10:26] ashram were standing in the courtyard
[1:10:28] like this. They had never heard anything
[1:10:31] like this before.
[1:10:34] You know you being a baba can be like a
[1:10:36] being a
[1:10:40] it's it's like a profession you know you
[1:10:42] walk around you beg a little bit here
[1:10:44] you stay in in this rash you do some
[1:10:46] meditation if you feel like it it's kind
[1:10:49] of like when they heard the real thing
[1:10:52] they were they just like this it was
[1:10:55] amazing I walked out of the room what
[1:10:59] and they you know and the head of that
[1:11:01] asham said to me you're really lucky to
[1:11:03] know him but he was a school teacher and
[1:11:06] then he was a headmaster of a school. He
[1:11:08] didn't leave. He didn't disappear. You
[1:11:10] know, he was right in the world and
[1:11:14] inside the world he did whatever he had
[1:11:16] to do. It's quite extraordinary.
[1:11:26] And he would argue with Maharaji. One
[1:11:28] time he came to the temple in Kenshi
[1:11:31] from Nanal and he starts yelling at
[1:11:33] Maharaji from across the courtyard. Why
[1:11:36] did you drag me here? I was happy at
[1:11:38] home. I had no intention to come like
[1:11:40] this. You know, imagine you talk to your
[1:11:41] guru like this. That's kind of love. The
[1:11:44] that's kind of the fearlessness. There
[1:11:47] was no fear in this relationship. You
[1:11:48] know, Maharaji says, "I drag no one, but
[1:11:52] for 83 lives we've been together. It had
[1:11:55] to happen."
[1:11:56] [laughter]
[1:11:59] I mean, what do you do with that?
[1:12:12] Yeah. Anybody else?
[1:12:18] All right. Where's the mic?
[1:12:28] Hi.
[1:12:31] I sit here and I have Maharaji envy.
[1:12:35] Um you know the
[1:12:39] >> thanks if you got it. Yeah. Okay. Go
[1:12:41] ahead.
[1:12:43] >> The stories are so ex exotic compared to
[1:12:47] the western lives we live and I know
[1:12:49] that you I mean you answered my question
[1:12:51] but I guess I'm looking for something
[1:12:53] back from you and that is yes we live in
[1:12:56] our lives and keep you know Maharaji
[1:12:58] ever present but the yearning is kind of
[1:13:01] intense sometimes. Um, you know, you
[1:13:04] guys were on the bus and we sit here and
[1:13:07] love to hear the stories, but there's
[1:13:09] [clears throat] a part of me that feels
[1:13:10] like, how is it how is it that you have
[1:13:13] all this physical time with him
[1:13:15] >> and I'm still the same schmuck I always
[1:13:17] was.
[1:13:17] >> Oh, I think you're a really great guy.
[1:13:19] >> Oh, thank you.
[1:13:21] >> But what's it I mean, what's it like?
[1:13:23] It's just so I don't know.
[1:13:26] >> I guess I just I wish I'd been there.
[1:13:28] >> No, you don't.
[1:13:30] >> Well, yeah, I do. dissent pooping your
[1:13:34] pants off all day long. What do you
[1:13:36] Well, I hate to tell you, girl, but
[1:13:38] yearning is what saves your ass.
[1:13:42] Without that, you have nothing.
[1:13:46] And it's work. It's designed like that.
[1:13:51] um
[1:13:53] that longing to be in the love is the
[1:13:56] only thing
[1:13:59] that that's our sense of direction.
[1:14:03] We think it's a mistake, but it's
[1:14:05] actually the one thing that saves us
[1:14:08] and it ruins your life
[1:14:12] until it doesn't
[1:14:15] until when which side of that are you
[1:14:16] on? You know, takes a long time to
[1:14:19] overcome like the the gravity of earth,
[1:14:23] so to speak, and
[1:14:26] embody that longing and recognize what
[1:14:28] it is. You know,
[1:14:32] it's it's the connection. It's already
[1:14:34] the connection
[1:14:36] because what do you the thing you're
[1:14:38] longing for? You already know what it
[1:14:39] is. You may not know here, but your
[1:14:42] heart is longing for it. It knows.
[1:14:45] And it makes sure that everything
[1:14:49] falls apart and what's left is that. And
[1:14:53] that's what saves you. Saves us. All of
[1:14:56] us.
[1:15:00] You know,
[1:15:03] that's my only qualification
[1:15:06] period for anything is the longing.
[1:15:10] Yeah, I've been to shrinks. They call it
[1:15:12] something else.
[1:15:16] Too bad for them.
[1:15:20] But that's the thing that that keeps
[1:15:23] it's the first noble truth. It's the
[1:15:26] truth of of suffering. The fact that
[1:15:28] stuff isn't enough. However beautiful it
[1:15:31] is at this moment, it's not going to be
[1:15:32] that beautiful 10 moments from now. But
[1:15:35] what will be and is already that
[1:15:37] beautiful is what you're learning for.
[1:15:41] And you know that.
[1:15:44] So
[1:15:46] those thoughts that you have that you
[1:15:49] expressed for instance when you sit when
[1:15:52] you chant
[1:15:55] Ram Ram
[1:15:58] they caught you they continue to catch
[1:16:00] you. The more practice you do the more
[1:16:02] you align yourself with
[1:16:05] the yearning
[1:16:07] the less those thoughts will uh find a
[1:16:10] place to land.
[1:16:14] and then there won't be a problem.
[1:16:24] Of course, there's the other side of it.
[1:16:29] I had learned this beautiful budgeon,
[1:16:31] this devotional song of Miraabai
[1:16:35] and I dreamed of singing it to Maharaji,
[1:16:37] right? And I learned it and one day I
[1:16:39] was alone with him or maybe there was
[1:16:42] one other Indian guy there and and I
[1:16:45] asked him can I sing this song? Huh? So
[1:16:49] I started singing this mira and I was
[1:16:51] weeping and crying and singing and and I
[1:16:55] finish and he leans over to me and says
[1:16:57] why are you crying?
[1:17:04] And I said Maharaji's love
[1:17:07] which was I was crying because
[1:17:10] I had dreamed of being a person who
[1:17:11] sings and cries and there I was doing
[1:17:14] it.
[1:17:15] Next. It was so funny. I couldn't
[1:17:18] believe it. But he wasn't fooled. You
[1:17:21] know why you crying?
[1:17:25] [laughter]
[1:17:27] So you can kind of do a trip about it
[1:17:30] too, you know.
[1:17:31] You don't want to go too much to this
[1:17:32] side, you know, and start wandering
[1:17:34] around, you know, starving yourself to
[1:17:37] death. And you don't want to go too far
[1:17:39] this side. The [snorts] longing is in
[1:17:41] you right now as you are. It's not
[1:17:43] somebody else. It's not wrong. It's not,
[1:17:46] you know, it's actually that's the path.
[1:17:52] and what you have to do to stabilize in
[1:17:55] that.
[1:17:58] You'll find out what that is.
[1:18:10] You know, I I don't want to even attempt
[1:18:13] to, but I will remind you of this roomie
[1:18:16] poem, you know, called uh
[1:18:20] love dogs.
[1:18:23] It's a beautiful poem. He says uh a man
[1:18:26] was crying Allah Allah and a voice came
[1:18:29] to him and said why are you crying out
[1:18:31] do you ever get an answer and the guy
[1:18:34] thought right I don't so he stopped
[1:18:37] praying and he fell into a confused
[1:18:40] sleep and the the guide of souls came to
[1:18:42] him and said why did you stop praying
[1:18:44] the guy says I never got an answer and
[1:18:47] the guy says the calling out is the
[1:18:50] answer you hear the dog howling in the
[1:18:54] night for his master. That's the
[1:18:57] connection.
[1:18:59] And he says,
[1:19:04] "There are dogs that no one knows the
[1:19:07] name of.
[1:19:09] Give your life to be one of them.
[1:19:20] [snorts]
[1:19:20] Room is too much.
[1:19:47] somebody. No. Yeah.
[1:19:50] I had read Katie that uh recently you
[1:19:52] had done a keron in prison in Vermont
[1:19:55] >> by in invitation.
[1:19:57] >> Yeah, I understand. Luckily, [laughter]
[1:20:01] >> could you could you share a little bit
[1:20:03] about that experience and and and how it
[1:20:05] was? Please
[1:20:08] >> say please again.
[1:20:09] >> Please again.
[1:20:11] >> Okay. No, it was actually beautiful.
[1:20:14] Really? Uh it was in a very minimum
[1:20:16] minimum security prison, a women's
[1:20:18] prison outside of Burlington. And most
[1:20:21] of the inmates were there for drug
[1:20:24] offenses. mostly nobody stayed longer
[1:20:27] than six months. It was just a kind of a
[1:20:30] halfway house almost, but it was a
[1:20:32] prison.
[1:20:35] And [clears throat] uh this uh
[1:20:39] foundation called the Call and Response
[1:20:41] Foundation uh sponsored us in there.
[1:20:44] Somebody an inmate who had read my book,
[1:20:47] Chance of a Lifetime, had and had it in
[1:20:50] prison. It was stolen from her in
[1:20:51] prison.
[1:20:54] She asked them to invite us and so they
[1:20:57] did and we went there and uh [snorts]
[1:21:00] you know it was just me and Arjun
[1:21:05] and uh [clears throat] some of the other
[1:21:07] people from the foundation and stuff and
[1:21:10] and apparently there were maybe
[1:21:13] [clears throat] 30 or 40 prisoners who
[1:21:16] were going to come
[1:21:18] but the day before somebody in the
[1:21:21] prison whether it's a prisoner or a
[1:21:22] guard or Somebody had started talking
[1:21:24] about demon worship
[1:21:28] and scared a lot of the the people about
[1:21:31] I mean you know
[1:21:34] monkeys and all that stuff you know.
[1:21:37] So about 20 of the women came and maybe
[1:21:40] there were 30 people in the room and a
[1:21:42] lot of them were these young girls like
[1:21:44] 20, 21, 22 and they kind of came in like
[1:21:47] this chewing gum
[1:21:50] you know
[1:21:52] and you know I wrote the words up on the
[1:21:55] little blackboard kind of
[1:21:58] and I just started talking and we
[1:22:00] started singing and by the end it was a
[1:22:03] love fest. It was incredible. Except at
[1:22:06] one point, one of the guards, a couple
[1:22:08] of guards came in the room and to take
[1:22:11] role, make sure everybody who was
[1:22:12] supposed to be there was there. So, we
[1:22:14] just sat there like this. They were the
[1:22:15] only uptight people I met for the
[1:22:17] guards.
[1:22:19] And uh it was really sweet. It was just
[1:22:22] uh
[1:22:24] really sweet.
[1:22:33] Yeah.
[1:22:37] For me it was the same you know whether
[1:22:40] it's here there or anywhere makes by his
[1:22:43] grace it really doesn't change me the
[1:22:46] way I do what I do but
[1:22:51] I do find myself in some strange places
[1:22:59] but um it was very beautiful. Nobody
[1:23:01] wanted to leave, you know. Everybody
[1:23:03] wanted to hang out. It was really
[1:23:07] very nice.
[1:23:20] Um, how would you say that your practice
[1:23:22] has impacted you being a grandfather?
[1:23:35] I don't know.
[1:23:38] I think I started that ball rolling a
[1:23:40] long time ago, so to speak.
[1:23:46] It's just kind of manifesting now.
[1:23:49] Um,
[1:23:54] chanting makes me a better grandfather.
[1:24:04] My my grandson Bod loves to play tabla.
[1:24:07] So I'll go over to the house and we'll
[1:24:09] sing together and he'll he'll play taba.
[1:24:11] Then he'll go running around and he'll
[1:24:12] come back to the table and he'll come,
[1:24:14] you know,
[1:24:15] um
[1:24:17] it's sweet. It's very sweet.
[1:24:20] Very sweet.
[1:24:23] And it's, you know,
[1:24:25] it's also tough to see uh the uh
[1:24:32] the conditioning going in, you know. Oh,
[1:24:36] you know, you know, and
[1:24:40] I know where my daughter got her stuff
[1:24:41] from. There's no mystery there,
[1:24:45] you know. And now I'm seeing my grandson
[1:24:46] get the same stuff. generation later,
[1:24:50] maybe a little bit less here, maybe a
[1:24:52] little bit more of that. It's pretty
[1:24:54] interesting. It's you got to kind of
[1:24:55] have to let it be and
[1:24:58] love it all, you know, and uh
[1:25:14] so
[1:25:16] you know, let's be serious. You know,
[1:25:18] practice helps everything. You know the
[1:25:22] more the more you live in your own heart
[1:25:24] the better everything is the better the
[1:25:26] more everything around you becomes part
[1:25:29] of your practice as well. You know it's
[1:25:31] not just practice while you're sitting
[1:25:33] down like this. You know
[1:25:37] we do practices to become
[1:25:40] good human beings to to get the strength
[1:25:43] to be a good fullon human being.
[1:25:48] Someone who cares about other people
[1:25:52] a little bit, you know, not always me
[1:25:54] me.
[1:25:56] Somebody who has the the strength to
[1:25:58] help other people and
[1:26:00] develop some compassion and kindness in
[1:26:03] life. And someone who's trying not to be
[1:26:06] the same jerk that they were last week
[1:26:07] or last month.
[1:26:10] you know, somebody who's not working on
[1:26:13] giving up fear and and
[1:26:16] not isolating our hearts from everybody
[1:26:18] all the time. You know, this is a human
[1:26:21] being. This is not a deity. We're trying
[1:26:24] to become good human beings. That takes
[1:26:26] a lot of strength, inner strength or
[1:26:29] inner power or whatever you want to
[1:26:30] call.
[1:26:34] And uh it's not it's it's a full-time
[1:26:36] job. It's a lifetime job.
[1:26:55] >> As a segue, sorry, just right next door.
[1:26:58] That was easy. Right.
[1:27:00] >> As a segue from that, um, as a
[1:27:03] grandparent looking back, if you could
[1:27:06] give advice to a parent, maybe you as a
[1:27:08] parent to help your child find Yeah,
[1:27:11] this is a good one, huh? [laughter]
[1:27:14] But you spoke about um trusting yourself
[1:27:17] or knowing your true nature.
[1:27:19] >> Yeah.
[1:27:20] >> What could you help a child do or say to
[1:27:23] help them trust and know their true
[1:27:26] nature?
[1:27:29] So they don't have to do all the stuff
[1:27:31] that we've done.
[1:27:34] >> Well,
[1:27:35] >> I know karma and all that stuff.
[1:27:37] >> I mean, all I can say is you, the more
[1:27:39] love you have, the more you love
[1:27:41] yourself, the more you accept yourself,
[1:27:43] the more you can accept other people as
[1:27:46] they are and love them as they are.
[1:27:49] And certainly with a child, you know,
[1:27:51] that's the main thing you want to let
[1:27:53] them know is that they're loved
[1:27:54] regardless of whether they up or do
[1:27:56] well or do this or do that.
[1:27:59] You know, you don't want to get caught
[1:28:02] always being reactive. You know, you
[1:28:05] want to
[1:28:07] support that love, that acceptance, give
[1:28:09] them that strength.
[1:28:12] You do the best you can, you know. So,
[1:28:15] what else can you do? We're all doing
[1:28:18] the best we can. You know,
[1:28:21] we could be doing better maybe, but
[1:28:23] still the best we can at the moment.
[1:28:26] That's that's good enough for now.
[1:28:30] It's a it's, you know, I watched Bodie.
[1:28:33] I watched my grandson, you know, and I
[1:28:35] saw that, you know, he didn't come in a
[1:28:38] blank slate. There was a lot of stuff
[1:28:40] going on in there right from day one,
[1:28:44] you know, and he's got a personality
[1:28:46] that
[1:28:47] I don't know where the hell it came
[1:28:48] from. There's nobody I ever saw before.
[1:28:52] It's very interesting. So, there's a lot
[1:28:55] of love that you have to an acceptance
[1:28:58] and letting that person be who they are,
[1:29:01] you know.
[1:29:03] But if we if we don't have that for
[1:29:06] ourselves, if we don't feel good about
[1:29:07] ourselves, that's what we're
[1:29:09] transmitting whether we want to or not.
[1:29:11] You can't fool anybody in this world for
[1:29:14] long.
[1:29:16] So
[1:29:20] being honest with ourselves is really
[1:29:22] it's not easy but it's it's a big step.
[1:29:27] Then you can maybe be honest with other
[1:29:29] people
[1:29:31] maybe.
[1:29:34] Okay. So I see it's time for Johnny.
[1:29:40] [laughter]
[1:29:41] Yeah. So it's 3:30. We got to go.
[1:29:44] Um,
[1:29:47] I don't know. We'll sing every night,
[1:29:50] but if somebody has questions or
[1:29:51] something, I suppose we could take a few
[1:29:53] minutes. The thing about the night is
[1:29:54] that we have to be finished by 9:30
[1:29:57] because there are people who would
[1:29:58] rather be watching television
[1:30:02] right here in River City.
[1:30:04] So, uh, we can spend some time talking
[1:30:07] or not. It's up to you really. So, you
[1:30:09] let me know.
[1:30:11] Namaste. [applause]