Teaching on love
“To love a person is to recognize the divine in them.”
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Anthony de Mello

In the profound words of Anthony de Mello, "To love a person is to recognize the divine in them." This statement invites us to explore the depths of love, suggesting that true affection transcends mere emotional attachment. It challenges us to see beyond the surface of individuality and to acknowledge the sacred essence that resides within each person. This recognition is not only transformative for the one who loves but also for the beloved, as it fosters a deeper connection rooted in spiritual awareness.

De Mello's insight compels us to reconsider our relationships and interactions. In a world often marked by division and misunderstanding, the act of recognizing the divine in others becomes a radical practice of compassion and unity. This perspective encourages us to cultivate a sense of reverence for the humanity in everyone we encounter, prompting us to engage with others not just as separate beings but as reflections of a shared divine essence. Such a shift in perception can lead to profound changes in how we relate to ourselves and others.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in de Mello's quote is rich and evocative, suggesting a deep, almost mystical connection between love and divinity. The verb "to recognize" implies an active engagement, a conscious choice to see beyond the superficial traits that often define our perceptions of others. It invites us to look deeper, to peel back the layers of personality and circumstance, and to behold the inherent worth and sacredness that lies within each individual. This act of recognition is not passive; it requires intention and mindfulness.

Moreover, the metaphor of the divine serves as a reminder that love is not merely an emotion but a spiritual practice. To love someone is to engage in a sacred act of seeing, where we acknowledge the light within them, even when it is obscured by their struggles or flaws. This perspective transforms our interactions, encouraging us to approach others with a sense of wonder and reverence, recognizing that each person is a unique expression of the divine, deserving of love and respect.

In the speaker's tradition

Anthony de Mello's teachings are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, which emphasizes the interconnectedness of all beings and the presence of the divine in everyday life. Concepts such as kenosis—the self-emptying love exemplified by Christ—resonate with de Mello's call to recognize the divine in others. This self-emptying is not about losing oneself but rather about expanding one's capacity to love and embrace the sacredness in others, reflecting the essence of bhakti, or devotional love, found in various spiritual paths.

In his work, de Mello often draws upon the idea of "seeing" as a spiritual practice, akin to the Buddhist concept of prajna, or wisdom. This wisdom is not merely intellectual but experiential, arising from a deep understanding of the interconnectedness of all life. In this light, de Mello's quote can be seen as an invitation to cultivate a discerning heart, one that perceives the divine presence in every interaction, echoing the sentiments found in the writings of mystics like Meister Eckhart, who spoke of the divine spark within each soul.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a heated disagreement with a colleague at work. In the midst of conflict, it is easy to lose sight of the humanity in the other person, viewing them solely through the lens of their actions or opinions. However, if we approach the situation with de Mello's perspective, we can pause and remind ourselves to recognize the divine within our colleague. This shift in perception can transform the interaction, allowing for empathy and understanding to emerge, ultimately leading to a more constructive resolution.

Another application of this teaching can be found in our closest relationships, particularly during challenging moments. Imagine a partner who is struggling with personal issues, perhaps exhibiting behaviors that are difficult to understand or accept. By consciously choosing to see the divine in them, we can cultivate patience and compassion, recognizing that their struggles do not diminish their worth. This practice not only deepens our connection but also fosters an environment of unconditional love, where both partners feel valued and seen for who they truly are.

A reflection

As we contemplate de Mello's profound assertion, we are invited to reflect on our own relationships and interactions. How often do we truly see the divine in those around us? In what ways can we cultivate a deeper recognition of the sacred essence within others, especially in moments of difficulty or conflict? These questions encourage us to engage in a contemplative practice that not only enriches our connections but also nurtures our own spiritual growth.

ArtistAnthony de Mello

Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who blended Christian spirituality with Buddhist and Hindu insights.

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De Mello's quote emphasizes that true love involves seeing beyond superficial traits and recognizing the sacred essence within each individual. This perspective transforms our relationships, encouraging us to engage with others as reflections of the divine.
You can apply this teaching by consciously choosing to see the divine in everyone you encounter, especially during conflicts or challenging interactions. This practice fosters empathy and compassion, allowing for deeper connections and understanding.
Yes, the idea of recognizing the divine in others is echoed in the writings of various Christian mystics, such as Meister Eckhart, who spoke of the divine spark within each soul. This theme of interconnectedness and sacredness is central to many mystical traditions.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying love exemplified by Christ, while bhakti is the devotional love found in various spiritual paths. Both concepts emphasize love and connection, but kenosis focuses on selflessness, whereas bhakti emphasizes devotion and surrender to the divine.
Mindfulness meditation can support this teaching by helping you cultivate awareness of your thoughts and perceptions. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to recognize the divine in others and approach your relationships with greater compassion and understanding.

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